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Bullying children often become bullying adults The following information is from MUSC’s “Kids Connection” newsletter Bullies come in all shapes, sizes, and ages. Children usually become bullies because they are unhappy inside for some reason or don’t know how to get along with others. Surveys indicate that as many as half of all children are bullied at some time during their school years, and at least 10 percent are bullied on a regular basis. Some kinds of bullying are: Verbal—name-calling, including name-calling, happens most often Physical—punching, pushing Relational—leaving someone out of a game or group on purpose Extortion—stealing someone’s money or toys Cyberbullying—using computers, the Internet, mobile phones, etc. to bully others. Those children not on the giving or receiving end of bullying are watching 85 percent of the time when one child bullies another one. If you suspect a child may be the victim of bullying or that they are witnessing bullying, ask him or her to tell you what's going on. Respond in a positive and accepting manner and provide opportunities to talk in an open and honest way. What can parents and health care professionals do? Seek help from the child’s teacher or the school guidance counselor. Most bullying occurs on playgrounds, in lunchrooms, and bathrooms, on school buses or in unsupervised halls. Adults should ask the child what he or she thinks should be done, in addition to asking what’s already been tried, and what worked or didn’t work. Ask school administrators to find out about programs other schools and communities use to help combat bullying, such as peer mediation, conflict resolution, and increased adult supervision. Help the child assertively practice what to say to the bully so he or she will be prepared the next time. The simple act of insisting that the bully leave him alone may have a surprising effect. Explain to the child that the bully’s true goal is to get a response. What should children do? Always tell an adult. It is their job to help keep you safe. Teachers or parents rarely see a bully being mean to someone else, but they want to know about it so they can help stop the bullying. Stay in a group when traveling back and forth from school, during shopping trips or other outings. Children who bully often pick on children who are by themselves—it’s easier and they’re more likely to get away with their bad behavior. If it feels safe, try to stand up to the person who is bullying you. This doesn’t mean you should fight back or bully them back. Instead, tell the person bullying you that you don’t like it and that they should stop. Children who bully often like to see that they can make you upset. Otherwise, try walking away to avoid the bully, and seek help from a teacher or other adult. If you are being bullied online, don’t reply. This may actually make the bullying worse. Instead, be sure to tell a family member or another adult you trust. Bullying hurts everyone. Victims can have their feelings hurt or suffer a physical injury from a bully. If your child becomes withdrawn or depressed, then seek professional help. Children who are bullied experience real suffering that can interfere with their social and emotional development, as well as their school performance. Some victims of bullying have even attempted suicide rather than continue to endure such harassment and punishment. Others can feel sad or scared, even if they are just watching a bully pick on someone else. Children who bully often grow up to become adult bullies. This material was adapted from http://stopbullyingnow.hrsa.gov and http://www.aacap.org/publications/factsfam/80.htm. Friday, Nov. 25, 2005 Catalyst Online is published weekly, updated as needed and improved from time to time by the MUSC Office of Public Relations for the faculty, employees and students of the Medical University of South Carolina. Catalyst Online editor, Kim Draughn, can be reached at 792-4107 or by email, catalyst@musc.edu. Editorial copy can be submitted to Catalyst Online and to The Catalyst in print by fax, 792-6723, or by email to petersnd@musc.edu or catalyst@musc.edu. To place an ad in The Catalyst hardcopy, call Community Press at 849-1778.