More people needed to foster children
by Mary Helen
YarboroughPublic Relations
At the end of the day, Marian “Mellie” Klinger repeats the ritual of a single mom—stop by daycare, pick up the children, hug and kiss them and hear reports of their day or desires. Then go home, prepare dinner, help with homework, bathe and tuck them into bed for the night.
Mellie KlingerKlinger, MUSC’s Accounts Payable Department manager, doesn’t know these children’s fathers—or their mothers, for that matter. These are not biologically hers, but they are her responsibility nonetheless. Klinger is unique and extraordinary. She is the foster parent to four small children whose parents neglected or abused them.
“I feel like they’re my children,” said Klinger, who has been a foster parent for five years. “I worry about them; I want to know how they’re doing in school. I give them big hugs and kisses. And they act like many other children, all vying for attention and running around.”
Many foster children will be returned to their biological parents, which can make being a foster parent tough. “I really try not to think of the future,” Klinger said. “For most of them, the future’s very much up in the air, and there isn’t a lot of hope.”
Klinger recalls the first time she had to release a foster child back to the child’s parents whom she feared were still not providing a healthy or stable environment for their children. “The hardest thing is when they leave,” she said; her eyes welling up. “The first time it felt almost like a death. You treat them like a family member; everybody gets to know them. My own family grew to know and love them. So it’s really devastating when they leave.”
Like all foster parents, Klinger had to be cleared and trained by the Charleston County Department of Social Services (DSS) to serve as a foster parent. Since then, she has cared for 15 children, most of them very young.
The little children aren’t yet jaded and don’t tend to have the behavioral problems the older children can have. Their innocence and ready reliance endears Klinger to them. So, “when they leave, I have to take some me time,” Klinger said. “It takes a couple of months to be emotionally ready to get more children.”
Despite the emotional roller coaster ride, the best part of being a foster parent is seeing the children blossom and grow in ways they may not have ordinarily.
“I know I am providing structure and security for them,” Klinger said. “Most importantly, we learn, and we know that school is good.”
Three of the four children Klinger is caring for come from the same biological parents. The fourth child, a 2-year-old little boy, is with Klinger for a second time. Klinger had cared for the child when he was a baby, but DSS and the court had the child returned to the parents. Unfortunately the parents failed again to provide proper care for the child. So, back in the system he went and into another foster home. When she found out the little boy was back in the system, Klinger managed to get him back into her home, and this time, she hopes, for good.
“I’m hoping to be the permanent mother for this little boy,” she said. “I’m trying to adopt him.”
Many more needed
The Charleston County DSS has an urgent need for foster and adoptive parents. In Charleston County alone, 389 children required out-of-home care in 2006. More than 300 needed foster care placements, but the county had fewer than 110 licensed foster care homes.
Foster parents provide temporary care, love and support for children who are experiencing crises due to abuse and neglect. A safe, caring home environment can give these children the stability they need to cope with feelings of abandonment, anger and loss.
Foster parents receive 14 hours of foster care/adoption training per year; monthly financial assistance for each child they foster; Medicaid health insurance for each child; day care services for working parents; and advocacy and support services.
Foster children also come in different sizes and with varying needs. Some of these children’s needs may overwhelm many foster parents. To help support foster parents who are able to care for children with complicated, special needs, MUSC’s Medically Fragile Children Program (MFCP) provides special care and support while providing care to children with chronic illnesses and disabilities. There are about 25 children in the MFCP and 18 families that have been qualified to accept these children, according to Gary Link, MFCP program counselor.
Some foster parents will designate what type or age of child they may be best suited for. Klinger, for example, has expressed a desire to care for very small children. Other foster parents may prefer older children.
Information available on children is restricted. DSS does not have their medical history and the biological parents are usually not very cooperative with DSS, especially right after the removal, Klinger said.
While foster parents receive a stipend per child, foster parents in South Carolina receive only about 50 percent of the funds needed to care for each foster child. Still, South Carolina is among the more liberal among states in terms of financial support provided to foster parents.
“These people must love children and want to help,” said Levolia Rhodes, Charleston County DSS foster parent recruiter. “We provide small payments to help with the boarding of these children, but we’re asking for much more from these foster parents.”
The toughest challenge, though, is that foster parents also have to have an ability to let go, Rhodes said.
“Foster care is temporary while the agency is working with the family for reunification,” Rhodes said. “A child could be in foster care for one night or for a year. Every case is different.”
Prospective parents can be single, two-parent or same gender families of all ethnicities and income levels. The licensing process usually takes three to four months and involves an application, training, criminal background checks, home evaluations and fire and health inspections. Anyone interested in sharing their home with a child in need is urged to call 953-9806.
Holiday cheering up for foster children
The Charleston County Foster Parents Association (CCFPA) is hoping the MUSC and Charleston communities will pitch in to brighten what tends to be a very sad and confusing period for the estimated 300 foster children in their care during the holidays.
CCFPA is recruiting departments and individuals to sponsor a child or children, and help fill their Santa wish lists, or sponsor their holiday party.
Traumatized by their abusers, these frightened, hurt children end up in a stranger’s home having left all of their belongings—toys and clothes—behind. With the holidays just around the corner, CCFPA is hopeful that members of the MUSC family can help foster families provide these children with hope, faith and cheer—all the ingredients necessary for a happy holiday season.
For those sponsoring a foster child, wish lists will be collected and presented to the sponsors, and CCFPA will arrange a time and place to pick up the gifts. Alternatively, tax deductible monetary gifts will be used to buy children’s gifts or provide them a holiday party. Monetary contributions should be mailed to the Charleston County Foster Parent’s Association (note Christmas gifts in the memo field), P. O. Box 14485 Charleston, S.C., 29422.
For more information, contact Klinger at 795-4319 or 209-9547; or Sharon Poole at 795-5251.
Friday, Nov. 9, 2007
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